ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
