Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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