I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The uberlube is also flammable
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
