girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize