Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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