you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
