Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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