Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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