I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
