lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
