he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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