Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
