WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
