Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
