I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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