One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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