I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
