do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
