I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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