What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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