I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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