Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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