i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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