I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
