everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
