If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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