We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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