The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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