I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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