She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
