Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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