I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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