It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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