My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
