Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm like, not good at living.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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