Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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