So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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