I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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