id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
