It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
