In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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