Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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