She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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