at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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