well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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