He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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