Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize