I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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