You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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