grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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