Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
