Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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