I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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