Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
