Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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