I wish my penis had an off switch
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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