I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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