please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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