I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
