singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
