make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
