YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
