tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
