ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
