I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
this hospital has no fireball
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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