my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
last night I used snow as a chaser
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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